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Feeling ripped-off?

I love travelling to foreign countries. The type of travelling I enjoy is often solo with backpack on, following my interests at whim. I am currently in Kathmandu, Nepal, travelling for a couple of weeks before I trek to Everest Basecamp. I am in my element!

There is one (of many) things that can occur when travelling … one of which is getting ripped-off! In my travels over the years I have paid double, received dud service, and been sucked-in by great offers that end-up being greatly disappointing. I used to get upset and sometimes angry over these things, or conversely go into a state of withdrawl and not want to participate in the world around me… Classic fight and flight behaviour. I have however learned to look at things with a different mindset, one which has greatly improved my emotional response and subsequently my experiences.

This feeling of being ripped-off is not just something we can experience when travelling, it can occur in our everyday work and lives. Maybe someone has used your work without asking or acknowledging, perhaps something you were offered didn’t match the reality, maybe someone has received all the praise for something you had a large input into, or perhaps you are the one doing all the work in a team… And the list goes on.

These things can happen, yet it is how we choose to respond to them that makes the difference. As I see it, we can do one of three things in these situations.

  1. We can get upset and angry

  2. We can withdraw.

  3. We can learn to do things differently.

If we choose to get angry, we are creating stress for ourselves, derailing our own journey and possibly even looking a bit like an ‘egg’. If we choose to withdraw, we are cutting ourselves off from others who may not be associated with the issue. We may be hindering our own development and closing ourselves off to other possibilities. 

However if we choose to learn from it, we take back our personal power. We choose how we wish to respond. We seek to understand what values have been compromised. We unpack how the situation came-about and our part in it. From there we can determine not only how we wish to be, but who we wish to be going forward. We can begin to reset our personal boundaries not only with others, but in how we choose to respond emotionally to things that happen

There are a couple of questions you can ask yourself when feeling ripped-off…

  • What is my part to own… and what is not mine to carry?

  • What values have been compromised?

  • How do I choose to respond so I maintain my integrity and values?

  • What conversations do I need to have, and which are simply not worth having?

  • How best can I re-establish my personal boundaries going forward?

  • What do I need to do differently and who do I need to BE going forward?

So if you are currently experiencing, or have ever felt like you have been ripped-off, you always have a choice in how you respond.

Are you going to go into fight and flight mode?

… Or are you going to take a breath and look for the learnings?

… The choice is always yours. 😉

Middle Leader Coaching and Mentoring

Are you a leader of an organisation or school who is intent on growing your middle leaders, but not quite sure how?

Are you spending time mentoring and coaching them on-the-hop and feel you could be supporting them better?

Maybe with the best of intent, you place them on a one-day course, but these are like a drop in the ocean; they provide some tools, but once back in the face of work, their use can fall-over. This leaves them feeling frustrated and confused, and can sometimes make an even bigger problem for you to deal with, and will eat into your already precious time.

More details here


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