It’s that time of the year when days are shorter, colder and sunshine a little more scarce.
It’s the time when deadlines concertina, sleep staccatos, and smiles become strained, initiating a change in our behaviour.
When once we are able to have robust discussions and hold ideas away from us to be explored and challenged, the filter to our heart-space becomes tenuous and we can take things personally.
Intellectual dialogue shifts to Interpersonal conflict.
Issues are escalated, emotions run high. We become an Olympic-level athlete in jumping to conclusions, and sharpened fingers are pointed. Ego comes to visit and the need to be ‘right’ overrides reasoning, resulting in behaviour akin to a western standoff.
This continues until no-one actually remembers the initial issue! Like Movenpick ice-cream, there is layer upon layer of festering accusations and counterattacks. Sometimes others are enlisted onto a ‘side’ and show their loyalty through their common ‘hex’ on the ‘opposition’.
Eventually, the team, department, or whole organisation can become toxic.
Sound familiar? It’s unfortunately very common.
So, how do we take a pro-active approach to these changes during the cooler months to maintain a balance in our own leadership and the culture of our team?
As you go forward this coming week, consider your choice.
Will your communication result in
Intellectual dialogue or Interpersonal conflict?
A few tips to support you should conflict arise:
- Listen: Practice active listening and sense-making questions to gain a better understanding of their point of view.
- Facts: Focus on the facts.
- Process: Say if you need to take time to think about what they have tabled. (Generally, no more than 24 hours).
- Re-visit: Circle back to a conversation if you think you have taken things the wrong way, or it’s unresolved. Apologise if you need to.
Go well this coming week Amazing One.