Common Enemy Intimacy and Enlisting

Picture this:

Person A sits alongside Person B in the staffroom and after light conversation states “Hey have you noticed how Person C never takes part in any staff functions. That’s a bit rude don’t you think?


Person A states to Person B “I’m not sure they are right for that role. They don’t have this or that. You see that don’t you?

Dr. Brene’ Brown uses this term to describe grouping-up with people who hate the same people we do. “It’s a counterfeit connection”, she says, “the opposite of true belonging”.

These connections are based on kindredness around disconnection and isolation of another. They are power-over comments.

There is a moment in time between comments such as these and your response. It seems like a millennia of space crushed into a few milliseconds.This space however is so intensely loaded.

It is loaded with:

  • Your values
  • Your beliefs
  • Facts versus opinion or hearsay
  • Needing to be liked or relevant
  • Others opinions
  • Social ‘rules’
  • Insecurities

This is a moment in time where you get to choose.

Do you choose integrity?

Do you choose courage over comfort?

Do you choose your values?

Do you choose to seek first to understand?

Do you choose love over fear? 

These types of exchanges are rife within our work and life. It is destructive of culture, relationships and ultimately trust.

This week are you going to manifest or interrupt this behaviour?

… It’s your choice.

Like a lot of my clients, you might be wondering how to keep your learning initiatives going in these disruptive times. I’m in the thick of creative planning with many clients about how we can help their people to thrive, and we’re coming up with some super-cool solutions. I am also still coaching and mentoring, and holding professional learning sessions virtually. If you’d like to chat about what’s possible, drop me a line.

MA :)

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