As humans, we want to feel safe in all aspects of our lives, including psychologically. We want to know that our thoughts and emotions won’t be dismissed, judged, or ridiculed when we share them. Therefore, psychological safety aims to create a comfortable and trusting environment where people can express their thoughts and feelings without the fear of negative consequences. Creating a psychologically safe environment can enhance individual and group performance, encourage innovation and creativity, improve communication, and enrich our relationships.

There is growing awareness of the need to create psychologically safe organisations, supported by recent researchers such as Timothy Clark and Amy Edmondson. But there is, I believe, a huge need to cultivate inner psychological safety within us all.

We only need to look at the last few years, and our current financial and social climate to realise the need for inner psychological safety. Furthermore, World Health Organisation (WHO) states “Depression is one of the leading causes of disability. Suicide is the fourth leading cause of death among 15-29-year-olds. People with severe mental health conditions die prematurely – as much as two decades early – due to preventable physical condition” (Retrieved from: https://www.who.int/health-topics/mental-health#tab=tab_1 on 13 April 2023).

No one ever really teaches us how to calibrate our internal locus, so oftentimes, we can find ourselves repeating past behavioural patterns that lead us further away from creating a psychologically safe personal space.

Through much trial, tribulations, and many errors, we navigate ourselves through this thing called life. There are some key elements that I have found have supported my inner psychological safety, which I thought I’d share in the hope it may spark something for you. Please know that like you,  there are times that I have my s#@t together better than other times, but below are some things I have found to help.

1. Practice self-compassion

I used to have crippling negative self-talk. It would keep me awake at night, ruminating over the tiniest of things that I should’ve and could’ve done. It stopped me from growing, as I was too scared to make a mistake. Over the years, I have worked on this. I have learned to hold things away from my heart space and look at them with a logical mindedness. I have understood what was mine to own, and what were others. And I have also realised that the gift of compassion I bring to others in my mahi is something I also need to show myself. 

2. Embrace vulnerability

Now phew, this is a hard one to navigate! It’s a bit like Goldilocks searching for the “just-right porridge”, as we constantly try to navigate how much versus how little vulnerability we need l…and others need from us for that matter. I think when Brene’ Brown championed the notion of vulnerability, some people thought it meant open and full disclosure everywhere and with anyone. Being vulnerable involves opening up and sharing our experiences, thoughts, and emotions with others, indicating that we trust them, but also not oversharing, or being too trusting. By acknowledging and owning our vulnerabilities, we open up the possibility of connecting with others authentically.

3. Build healthy relationships

Building healthy relationships that include mutual trust, respect, and support can help you feel safe and secure. This requires us to be an active partner in our relationships so that we don’t fall into the trap of dependency or codependency. It requires constant calibration and clear communication.

4. Foster clear communication

Communication is key to creating a safe space. It’s essential to communicate effectively, listening to others without judging them and expressing ourselves honestly and respectfully. This can be darn hard when there are feelings at play, but planning what you want to say ahead of time, and then communicating this respectfully and succinctly helps, plus it is also respectful to the other person to do this preparation. I think we can also often sway between hinting at what we want to say, without being clear and being too straightforward to the point of dictating. This often leads to ill-feeling and a loss of relational trust. As Brene’ Brown says; “Clear is Kind”.

5. Be aware of thoughts and emotions.

One of the key emotional intelligence capabilities we can’t have enough of is self-awareness. This includes being aware of how our thoughts and feelings can impact us, and those around us, as well as how others’ emotions and thoughts affect us. Mindfulness and meditation practices can help build awareness of our thoughts and emotions, however, for me, I find it out in the garden, in a forest or near water. It requires self-awareness for us to notice what supports us to get clear and recalibrate our thoughts and emotions.

6. Encourage growth and development

I don’t know about you, but for the past few years, I’ve been a bit stuck in the doing. This has recently caused me to yearn for growth and development in unfamiliar areas. This doesn’t necessarily need to be in our current line of mahi; it may be in another area of interest for us, such as using youtube videos to teach yourself how to salsa. It’s important for our own psychological safety, that we seek learning, growth and development and foster and celebrate mistakes along the way as opportunities for growth.

7. Manage stress and anxiety

Stress and anxiety can significantly impact our psychological safety. It’s essential to manage stress and anxiety by adopting healthy coping mechanisms, such as exercise, deep breathing, and healthy nutrition. The thing is, however, it’s also a bit like putting money in the monopoly bank, you can’t expect to make a withdrawal from your reserves if you haven’t been actively adding to it along the way. Managing our stress and anxiety requires constant nurturing and the development of strategies to support us during times of pressure. It’s a little often.

So this week, I invite you to turn the mirror towards yourself. Consider how you are, or aren’t (aka self-sabotaging) your inner psychological safety. Cultivating inner psychological safety is crucial for our well-being, productivity, relationships, and personal development. By practising self-compassion, embracing vulnerability, building healthy relationships, fostering clear communication, being aware of our thoughts and emotions, encouraging growth and development, and managing stress and anxiety, we can create a safe space within ourselves.