As leaders, it can sometimes feel as though everyone is out for themselves, with no consideration for the ripple effect they cause around them that you have to pick up. It can feel like those you lead are demanding more and more, when you have bent over backwards to meet their needs. The more you try to model the behaviour you would like to receive from them, the more it falls on deaf ears. And, to top it all off, no one ever apologises, or even thanks you for the efforts you put in. It can at times be soul destroying and disheartening work.
But how do we keep ourselves above the line when we can feel as though we are giving too much, with very little coming back our way?
- Determine the facts. Before you jump off the diving board into the emotional whirlpool, get your facts straight.
- Self reflect. Consider your part to play. What part is your ego playing? What are your expectations, and what is the reality?
- Deal with the facts only. Do not get into an emotional rant. Keep to the facts and keep it polite.
- Check your internal state. Are you getting enough sleep? Eating well? Moving? Speaking kindly to yourself? Is your heart-space too open? Do you need to place an invisible force field around it for self-protection?
- Check-in with your “Why”. Reconsider why you do what you do. What lights your world and work? Try getting a little closer to that.
- Dial a friend. Sometimes having someone to offload in a totally confidential way can help. Make sure it is someone you trust that it will go no further.
- Keep it human. Sometimes reminding people that you too are human can help bring them out of their self-obsession.
- Rise. Continue to check-in with your values, resituate yourself in the arena and continue to dare greatly.