Is leading by example enough?

Shelley Rikys, Whaingaroa

In his book “The seven habits of highly effective people”, leadership guru Stephen Covey speaks about the art of leading by example. He says

What you do has far greater impact than what you say

But is leading by example enough?

Can people learn through osmosis?

If you model it enough, will they ‘get it’?

I have the privilege of walking alongside many leaders in my mahi and in particular those who are aspiring to develop their people-leadership skills.

I have sat alongside leaders who have, with utter passion, unpacked the deliberate acts of leadership they have noticed in another leader within their organisation. They have explored the phrasing, body language, deliberate questioning and nuances shown by the leader, considering how they might apply some of the skills themselves.

But, to be able to have these types of conversations, the leader first has to notice. They have to be able to sit outside of their own ego and self, and observe another from a place of curiosity.

Eckhart Tolle says

The moment you become aware of the ego in you, it is strictly speaking no longer the ego, but just an old, conditioned mind-pattern. Ego implies unawareness. Awareness and ego cannot coexist.

My fear is that this is a dying art. That in the busyness of process, list-ticking and self-importance, we are not teaching, nor are our developing leaders learning the art form of observation. 

As leaders who are growing leaders, we would hope that those we are modelling to through our everyday mahi, are picking up on our cues. But is hope enough? Especially if they aren’t noticing our actions in the first place?

I have been very fortunate to be mentored by some incredible leaders, and whilst they have deliberately modelled in my presence, they have also:

  • Taken the time to unpack my noticings with me.
  • Shadow-coach me, explaining the deliberate acts of leadership they would employ in a situation.
  • Provide me with links to research, and support my meaning-making from it.
  • And, tell me straight when I need it.

Growing as a leader is multi-faceted…and we never stop.

But leading by example is one of many deliberate acts of leadership we can employ to teach leadership.

What deliberate acts of leadership are you using to grow your leaders?

And, if you are learning the art of leadership, to what extent are you noticing? And furthermore, what are you doing with this noticing?

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