I admit it. Occasionally when I want utterly mind-numbing viewing I watch reality TV. I know, a woman with more degrees than shoes, yet watches this utter trash. I do so to send my brain into sleep mode. Mostly it works, but occasionally it works in reverse.

This past week of Married at First Sight has sent my brain into disbelief. The culprit, the phrase that sent me into a mix of disbelief and speechlessness was “I can’t help how I feel”. 

This is one of the most disempowering phrases I know. It says “I have no control over my own emotions and therefore that is an excuse for my behaviour”. I call B-S on this!

When we give our own internal power away with a comment like that, we are also saying that whatever you do to me will cause me to have no ownership over my emotional state and actions. I will default and blame you for my feelings and behaviour. I am powerless. Once again I call B-S.

Another term that irks me is “I will speak my truth”. This phrase is often stated with utter conviction, as if your truth is THE truth. Once again I call B-S on this.

Your ‘truth’ is a version of a number of stories in the mix of ‘truths’. Your ‘truth’ is not gospel. It is a story you made up in your head about an incident (neurologically speaking). The meaning you placed on this is what you call your ‘truth’. To place that on someone else as THE truth is not ok. 

I know, this is a TV programme, but I also see and hear this in workplaces. It is both controlling and disempowering behaviour. These catch-phrases have become an all too acceptable part of modern rhetoric that I believe we need to question, both in ourselves and others.

So this week become mindful of how you are giving your power away by flippant, ‘socially acceptable’ comments. Own your ‘stuff’. Take account of your ‘stuff’. 

Step it up lovelies!