What my boys have taught me about resilience

They say children are sent to earth to provide lessons to those around them.

I am one of those fortunate not only to have my own two boys, but also the many children I have taught, to teach me so many things.

In this post, I wish to share some sacred lessons from my own two boys.

These are lessons that they may not be aware they have taught me, but that for which I am very grateful. I wish to share these with you for your own reflection as we reach within to find our resilience.

Lesson 1: It is what it is.

When the world feels as though it’s in a constant state of flux and change, we can tend to grasp for control. We can seek to create security and certainty in an uncertain world by clenching on tightly to control and our past ways of behaviour.

This can create angst, anger and depression.  

One of my sons lives in Melbourne, a city known as being the longest in lockdown across the world. I have traversed the journey of his experience, riding both the highs and lows with him; as much as I am able to from a distance. As times of anxiety rose within him, I was deeply concerned for his mental wellbeing. He is a mentally strong young man, yet this was taking its toll. After many phone calls on his way home from work each day, the saying “It is what it is” came to be a constant. In saying this phrase he was able to release the anxiety he was feeling about the complexities of his external world, and focus his energies on what he could personally do to take control of his internal equilibrium. In this way, he was refocusing his energies inward, centering himself, focusing on his locus of control, and mindfully stepping forward onto each day. At 24 years of age, his beauty of spirit, tenacity, vulnerability and courage was such a gift to me as his mother.

Lesson 2: Step into the breach.

After being at his workplace since he was 17, and at a time of global financial vulnerability, my now 25 year old son has made the bold decision to start his own business. He has connected with experts both online and in person, done his research, and backed his skills and support network.

It has been hard. Leaving security, and a slightly above existence wage, has called him to leave his safety net at the door, and step into a world of new learning. Despite his staunch exterior, I know he has been anxious about the move, and yet, he has continued…one step, in front of the other. He has taught me to be bold and courageous in reaching for your dreams. And just when you think the timing may not be right, perhaps it actually is…providing you do your homework. He is a lesson in tenacity and resilience of spirit. He is courage and vulnerability embodied.

There are so many lessons my two sons have taught me, for which I am truly grateful.

So, as you move into this coming week, I invite you to consider the learnings from those around you. They are a gift; part of a human ecosystem from which we can all learn. Their beautiful complexity is what we need to embrace and learn from, because, remember…

We see in others that which is the learning for ourselves.

With many blessings and much aroha.

MA xo

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1 Comment

  1. Wow, that was profound, beautiful and eloquently written. There are lessons to be learnt all around us from young and old, but true wisdom comes from acknowledging those precious moments as they make us richer, better people. Thank you Mary-Anne

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