When we give too much.

That's enough todaying for today. I'm done.

I’m in recovery.
Sometimes I am stoic. Resolute. Committed.
Other times I am soft. Malleable. Flakey.

I was raised in an era and environment when it was not the done-thing to put yourself first. Even more so if you were a woman. Hard work, compromise and self-lessness were rewarded as opposed to balance, boundaries and self-belief.

As mothers we also put our own needs second over those of our children. This is part of the job-description because we have the lives of human beings reliant on us. I vividly remember the delight of being able to drink a warm cup of coffee, as opposed to a stone cold one with a milky film over the top.

I also joined the teaching profession, which is known as more of a vocation than a ‘job’. This meant going over and beyond was often the call of duty, and this behaviour was often rewarded or acknowledged.

I have also worked as a national eLearning facilitator where the expectation was that we responded to communication within a few hours, and that we were always contactable.

Also as a teaching Principal there was always a pile ahead and many people relying on me to ‘deliver’. The pressure was always constant.

Now in my own business (of which I am truly grateful, and passionately LOVE), I sometimes find myself repeating old habits. I will place work over taking a break or connecting with another human, going for a walk, or just relaxing in front of some mindless programme. The pile is still in front of me. The choice is still mine.

The thing is that when we continue to give too much to one part of our lives, we lose sight of the other parts that also matter. And if we do it for too long, we can even lose sight of who we are and what we want for our life without ‘work’.

Like empty-nesting, we are lost without the thing we have invested our time and energy into. There is a void we don’t know what to do with. If we are not careful we fill the void with even more commitments or work, as opposed to practicing a bit of self-love.

I have found that joining a club or something organised forces me to leave work behind and show-up. If I have made a commitment to others, I won’t let them down. Also if I just want to chill, I will often go somewhere like a cafe or for a drive/walk somewhere different and chill there to get myself away from my work-desk. I get regular massages, making sure I always book my next before I leave. I usually spend a part of Sunday on self-pampering such as nails, face-stuff (yes that’s a technical term in the world of Mary-Anne), or just getting my clothes ready for the week (which I enjoy, but I so don’t do ironing!).

Don’t get me wrong, the work I do is the legacy I want to gift to this world. It means using the best of Me to leave a small speck of goodness on this world. But it’s when we forget ourselves amidst what we do that causes a lack of wellbeing. .

So beautiful You…

If you were to ask yourself:

  • Who am I without work?
  • What do I enjoy?
  • Do I freakn LOVE my mahi? (well most of the time, let’s keep it real)
  • What are my dreams and aspirations?
  • What would I love to spend my downtime doing?

How would you answer?

My name is Mary-Anne Murphy and I am a recovering workaholic. Are you?

Know I’m here to support you on this journey. I bring both a triple lifetime of learning jammed into one (hmmm so lucky!) and some pretty incredible tools to support your journey. I will be your biggest cheerleader, kick your ass and support you to be your best, most brilliant You. Let’s chat 🙂

Lastly, I’ll leave you with some beautiful lyrics from Greg Johnson “Save yourself”

First you save yourself
Then you save the world, first you save yourself

You’re such a brilliant pearl
Living in an unforgiving world
And it doesn’t help us very much
If you throw the line to someone else
First you save yourself
Then you save the world but first you save yourself

Be kind to yourself this week, beautiful person. Know I’m here. 😊

PS: Drop me a line if you want to chat-through working with me 1:1 (Only 5 mentoring spaces available) .

Need a speaker?

There are plenty of speakers to choose from. I am not the norm. You won’t be bored to tears by the same ole’ approach and dribble. How about bringing Mary-Anne for the conference or all-staff day.

Give me a stage and I’ll own it. Give me a room and I’ll energise it. Give me your people and I’ll inform and inspire them. 

Need virtual delivery – no sweat! I have facilitated virtual full and half-day workshops, virtual keynote speaking at online conferences, and might I say, you still get the Mary-Anne goodness you deserve!

More details here


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