In my experience, a huge and vital part of being human is relationships. Relationships with ourselves, relationships with others and relationships with our environment.
What we choose to see in any of these three elements can determine our life satisfaction.
When the chips are down, and life feels hard, we can choose to look through a lens of “not enough”. I don’t have enough love, connection, opportunity, money etc.
We can look at others and think that their lives look so much more enticing; that they are living the dream. Furthermore, social media posts might convey the world of others as far more interesting or incredible than our own. We can sit in a space where we let our lives tick by while we watch others live theirs… all the while thinking that their lives and adventures are incredible.
It’s a falsehood we can easily fall into.
We can think that we don’t have enough, do enough, or are enough. Interestingly we can look for affirmation of these “stories” everywhere. That person at work who is going from strength to strength, that other someone who seems to be in the most fabulous relationship, or the person who seems to have it all sorted.
It is B-S. We are all… and I mean ALL doing this thing called life the best way we know how. It’s messy, complicated, hard, joyous, rewarding and frustrating all at once.
But it’s ours! It’s our journey. Our story.
Who we choose to invite into it needs to be considered, and reconsidered.
Not just anyone gets to be in our inner circle. That space is sacred. Tapu. This includes our physical, mental and spiritual space. The thoughts, actions and people you surround yourself with, matter.
You may also think the grass is greener at another workplace. That another place can give you what you want or need. Perhaps you have heard of other places that seem more alluring? The pictures you make in your mind about these create both a nirvana of opportunities and a hell-like state of your current situation. We can think that if we “jump”, the grass will be greener.
But how often do we lean in? How often do we take the time to unpack, and understand exactly what is causing our unrest? And, to what extent are we willing to take responsibility for the space and place we have created? You see, if we want change, we have to be the change. And this requires us to step up and accept ownership of our faulty thinking. It requires us to have the conversation and to unpack fiction from reality.
We can think that our current workplace or relationship is the worst, but how are we in our own minds and our behaviour making it so? Where is our agency in this picture?
Sure, some situations may require drastic action, and that is absolutely in the best interest of physical and psychological safety.
However, what I am asking you to reflect upon is, are there actually opportunities that exist under your nose, that because of your thinking and mindset you yet haven’t considered?
Hopping between jobs, relationships, places and spaces is sometimes not what we need.
Sometimes, instead of looking outwards, we may need to look for the gold in what we have, who we are, where we are, and what we do. This is not about settling, this is about being present, grateful and Real.
So my invitation to you this week is to consider where you are creating falsehoods in your mind?
Remember, when we look for what is not there, that is all we will see.
How are you looking for the gold, here…now…all-ways?
Be Beautiful.
MA
